Wax On, Wax Off

Let me preface this by saying that I’ve been getting bikini waxes for a good long time now, without incident. I don’t even particularly think they hurt. Now, before you waxing virgins go thinking it’s a good idea to run out and get waxed, you should know it DOES hurt, at first. The first two or three times you get waxed it hurts in a shriek out loud, tears in your eyes kinda way. But once you’ve suffered through those first few trips to hell, it’s not bad at all. I’m at the point where I can easily carry on a phone conversation while being waxed (and now those of you who I speak to on the phone regularly can wonder if I’m having hair ripped from my body while we’re talking. You’re welcome for the visual.)

Today, however, was an adventure in waxing unlike no other I’ve ever experienced. I was at my usual salon, with my usual woman. And I should note that I do NOT go Brazilian. That scares that crap out of even ME. But I do let the tech pretty much dictate how much she’s going to take off. I’m not terribly picky in that way. As long as I don’t look like Sasquatch in my bathing suit we’re all good. So today my girl went a bit lower on the top edge than usual. Which was fine, not really a biggie, just odd cause she’s pretty predictable. But then she came father in on the sides than usual, too. Now…girls…these are sensitive parts down there that frankly aren’t really meant to be man-handled in this manner. But still, all good, a little bit of “ouch” but survivable. Until what should have been her last application and tear strip. I’m not even sure what happened, exactly. She put the wax on and I guess it cooled too quickly or something, but it got…stuck. In the longer part just off center. Not cool. Not. Flippin. Cool. Partially my fault I guess, because I didn’t “mow the lawn” before having her do the edging. Not a mistake I will make again. Bottom line is I spent about 20 minutes with her cutting this wax off me and picking it out with tweezers. That is a 20 minutes that will feel like an ETERNITY, in case you were wondering.